What is the one thing that drives you to wake up in the morning and do whatever it is you do?
I’m sorry, but it’s more than one thing.
coffee, nicotine, Jimi Hendrix, John Coltrane, abstract impressionism, impressionism, showgaze, jazz, mid-century modern, baroque, cake, donuts, skittles, The Twilight Zone, Dark Shadows, Scooby Doo, my record player, the internet, instagram, 8 tracks, murder mysteries, police procedurals, The Cat Who…, coke zero, Dr. Pepper, rainbows, the sun, clouds, iphone, digital comics, the atomic age, no kids, bachelorhood, music, art, television, blah blah blah
A contagious disease has required you to be into quarantine for a whole month How do you spend your time in isolation?
To be honest, it wouldn’t be much different than my normal life. With the exception of work, I keep myself pretty isolated. Most people either bore, or irritate me. I know that it’s probably my duty as a responsible citizen to put myself out there and be a part of the community – no matter how obnoxious it may be – but, call me a narcissistic jerk, it’s just not my style. Never really has been. I pretend that I like being a part of a group and fitting in with all the other peeps, but actually, I couldn’t care less if I am surrounded by people or not. Preferably not.
So, isolation really wouldn’t be much different to me. Maybe occasionally someone would come tap on the window and wave. Hopefully, there would be some curtains for me to pull and block all of that out. I would look at the whole thing as if I had won the lottery.
You mean I don’t have to see people for a whole fucking month. Cool!
So, I suppose that I would spend my time doing what I normally do. Reading, listening to music, learning new things. Maybe watching some tv
It’s not that I don’t like most people. I’m just over them. There are some pretty cool people out there with interesting ideas and new ways of looking at things. I suppose that I just get bored with seeing the same old trite crap everywhere I go. We are bombarded in the media with the most uninteresting and mundane people. At least to me they are.
Since the internet has connected us with the world, the mystery has gone out of everything. The world used to seem like the entire universe. Now, it appears to be the size of a marble. I keep waiting for the new and exciting, but it doesn’t seem to be out there. I have become inured.
What was the #1 song when you were born? Write about how the song relates (or not!) to your personality.
Teddy Bear by Elvis Presley. It has absolutely nothing to do with me because…well, that’s just stupid. It’s not astrology – which is fake, btw. Unlike UFOs, zombies, or Nessie. Now that shit’s real.
With the exception of In the Ghetto (what an annoying song!), Teddy Bear is probably my least favorite Presley song.
I guess it could have been worse. It could have been Go Away Little Girl by Donny Osmond. Although, it would have been more apropos.
If you had to live forever as either a child, an adolescent, or an adult, which would you choose – and why?
This is a joke right? Why on earth would I want to be a child forever? Just think about how much harder it would be to buy cigarettes and booze. Not to mention that you can’t have sex because you haven’t reached puberty yet. Yeah, I want to remain a virgin forever. Plus, you have to take orders from people. Well, most kids don’t, but YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO. And, you have to ride a school bus. Pass. ps – you can’t drive either.
Adolescent? Yeah, right. I want to go to high school forever. I want to climb the rope in gym class FOREVER! I want to be a snotty know-it-all teenager forever. No.
I guess I pick adult. There’s a wider scope of ages available. 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. Sure you have to work, but at least you have more say so in your life. You have more opportunities available. It just makes more sense.
How are you more likely to make an important decision – by reasoning through it, or by going with your gut?
Important decisions? Well, I usually try to avoid those. If I have to, I usually start with reasoning through it – logic and all that junk. If it’s a dilemma then reasoning usually doesn’t work. That’s when I use my gut. If I still can’t decide on an appropriate course of action, then I spin the roulette wheel or use the Magic 8 ball. If I’m still unhappy with my decision, then I just run away and bury my head in the sand until it all blows over, or goes away.
If there were a real Fountain of Youth, would you drink the water?
Sure. If there were a Fountain of Youth, that would mean that we probably lived in magic fairy land where anything was possible. I would also drink the I Can Fly potion, the Hey Look, I’m Invisible potion, and the When I snap my fingers thousands of dollars will appear potion..Oh yeah, and let’s not forget the Anybody I want will have sex with me potion.
If you could create a sequel to one favorite (standalone) movie, which would it be? How would it build on the original?
Dark Victory with Bette Davis. She died at the end, so have fun with that.
It turns out that your neighbor on the plane/bus/train (or the person sitting at the next table at the coffee shop) is a very, very chatty tourist. Do you try to switch seat, go for a non-committal brief small talk, or make this person you new best friend?
Well, it really depends on the person. If they are talking about something I am interested in, then I might chat for a while. If they are my type, then I’ll try to seduce them.
If they are boring and/or hideous, then I’ll just ignore them somehow.
I’d move if they were just so horrible that I wanted jump out of the plane, train, or bus. If I was in a coffee shop I would just look at my phone and read a fake text message of urgency. Oops, gotta go.
What’s the biggest chance you ever took? Did it work out?
I flew all the way across the country to be with someone I met on the internet. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Did it work out? No! It was a week of hell. I learned a valuable lesson though. Don’t fly all the way across the country just to have sex. That’s what idiot’s do.
Tell us about the person you were when you were sixteen.
I turned 16 in 1973. I was in the band at school and I was kind of a dork. I was just a regular kid I guess. I didn’t cause too much trouble. I went to the movies a lot. I also spent a lot of time in my room listening to records. I don’t really remember it that much because it was 42 years ago. I didn’t take notes.