What’s the biggest chance you ever took? Did it work out?
I flew all the way across the country to be with someone I met on the internet. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Did it work out? No! It was a week of hell. I learned a valuable lesson though. Don’t fly all the way across the country just to have sex. That’s what idiot’s do.
Tell us about the person you were when you were sixteen.
I turned 16 in 1973. I was in the band at school and I was kind of a dork. I was just a regular kid I guess. I didn’t cause too much trouble. I went to the movies a lot. I also spent a lot of time in my room listening to records. I don’t really remember it that much because it was 42 years ago. I didn’t take notes.
If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?
I’m going to have to go with allegedly.
He smacked his girlfriend while they were in the elevator. It was all over the news. Millions of people saw the footage. He hit his girlfriend…ALLEGEDLY.
Ten people saw him pick up the gun and blow his brains out. He committed suicide…ALLEGEDLY.
I’m going to the store…ALLEGEDLY.
Who knows. On my way there I might get abducted by aliens and dropped at the automat instead. What’s an automat? It’s kind of like a restaurant where you get all of your food out of vending machines…ALLEGEDLY.
Allegedly is literally the most obnoxious word ever. Literally is the second most obnoxious. Obnoxious is the third most obnoxious word, thereby cancelling itself out and NOT being an obnoxious word…ALLEGEDLY.